Career

Finally the 6 wks is coming to an end. No more journey to the EAST. No more TKR or KLY or PUN. NOPE NO MORE. But somehow i am afraid of what is coming next for me. No more Sufian, no more Taj, no more Fahmi …..

Gotta admit that ive grown very complacent. I always thought ill have them by my side. But from 1st onwards, i am solely on my own. It will be just me handling all those riders. It will be just me handling all paperworks. It will be just me ….. I am really afraid :/ But i solely believe if this is my rezeki, in shaa allah, Allah SWT will guide me thru.

But i am also gutted i didnt managed to say thank you and goodbye personally to the TKR staffs. For the past 7wks, they have been guiding me, holding my hands, nurturing me. From someone who cnt even do pizza, atleast i can do a sellable pizza(?). I mastered oven tending, CSR and others.

I really hope WDL staffs will guide me thru.

May ALLAH SWT be with me thru every steps i take, AMIN.

xx

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Acceptance.

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I am a very selfish person. I dont really forgive nor forget esp those who have hurt me in the past. I just cant seems t bring myself t forgive nor forget. And thats what i hate most about myself. I can be the most forgiving person on earth t some people yet i can also be that unforgiving human. I AM A HUMAN.

I know he is married and deep down despite i am happy for him, i seems t feel the pain all over again. As much as i am moving on happier than ever, i dont want him t find the happiness. Cause t me, after what he and his family put me thru, he dont deserve any bit of happiness.

But
the phrase above hits me hard. and Sufian’s taught me tt forgiveness is a gift i can give t myself. sometime i wish had Sufian’s heart. His heart is so pure that at times, i am ashamed of myself. People can do shit t him always and yet he’s still there smiling away. You are such a gem sweetheart :-*

But kifarah really does wonder. Thank you Allah :’)

Bless

Before you marry someone, see how his treats his mother. If he treats her good, def he will treat you good too

I am honestly bless t have Sufian w me. Its so cliche but he’s definitely my pillar of strength. And with that said, i wont know how will i cope if he were t be called up for reservist tho. (hopefully not anytime soon!)

2 more months before we hit the big 1 year old. Time indeed flies fast. It was just like yesterday i plucked up the courage t contact him back via twitter. and during that time, i were still in the previous rship. Ever since i saw him at CDA, my heart seems t called out t contact him but i was afraid. But then i told myself, happiness is in my own hand. Its either i took that shot or i continue t drown myself in sadness.

Whenever i read back our convo, ill def smile to myself. Those were the times.

Dear Sufian,

Thank YOU. Thank YOU for loving me when i was a mess. Thank You for constantly assuring me. Thank YOU for always putting me first besides yr family. Thank YOU for always pampering me w lots of love. I sincerely do love you. Continue loving me ok? If not … i tumbuk you uh! hehe kidz! mwah xoxo

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Its been so long since i last blogged.Moved from blogspot to here now and hopefully this will stay x

Been hectic weeks and months at work but somehow i am still w LTPR. maybe cause of some people or maybe cause i am just too attached t that place. Good bosses and co-workers(some) so for now .. thats my source of income.

Relationship wise … everything is going on smooth (alhamdulillah). Time to concentrate more on savings for the future. S has been dropping hints so in shaa allah, EOY will b the E-day. Praying and wishing all will go just smooth bismillah x

Have a good week ahead loves!